Mothering Not Smothering: Mother Wounds Notes

What Does It Mean To Be A Mom?

Mother wounds are a rarely discussed yet deeply impactful form of trauma—often brushed aside or left unspoken. And yet, God invites us to bring every wound, even the ones buried in silence, to Him with a broken spirit so that we may be healed (Psalm 51:17). To better understand the significance of a mother’s role and the weight her presence carries, we must first look at the Biblical definition of a mother: a female parent, a woman in a position of authority. This definition is not about control or dominance, but about divine stewardship. God entrusts mothers with the responsibility to nurture, guide, and discipline our children in love and truth. 

Not to act as gods in our children’s lives, but as faithful stewards of the lives entrusted to them. As Ephesians 6:4 (AMP) reminds us, while this verse speaks directly to fathers, its principle also applies to all parents: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Proverbs 13:24 and Proverbs 22:6 also emphasize the importance of faithfully stewarding our children.

Mother Wounds: How To Address Our Wounds & Heal From It

Psalm 127:3 reminds us that children are a gift and reward from the Lord. When we truly see them as such, we begin to understand why healing our own mother wounds is so vital, so that we as mothers, can become who God intended us to be for the children He has entrusted to us.

Healing- The first step toward healing is to humbly acknowledge and confess your mother wounds before the Lord, recognizing how they’ve shaped your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Take time to identify the specific negative beliefs or patterns that have taken root because of these wounds. Then, begin renewing your mind by meditating on God's Word—especially the scriptures that reveal His tender, loving, and faithful nature. Remember, God is not only our Creator; He is our perfect Father. Unlike our earthly parents, His love is unconditional, unwavering, and complete. His truth brings healing where human love has fallen short.

Seek God's Healing Through . . .

• Prayer

• Forgiveness

• Surrendering

• Scripture

• Therapy 

Therapy, Prayer, Forgiveness & Scripture

A licensed Christian therapist—such as our beloved sister Triane Pinder (her website is linked below) can walk alongside you in your healing journey, combining clinical therapy with biblical principles. As you go through this process, continue to pray specifically for healing from your mother wounds. Ask God to help you release the pain, and make the choice to forgive your mother. Let go of the bitterness and resentment that may be rooted in those wounds. Just as the Lord extends mercy and grace to us, He calls us to extend the same to others. If God is leading you to take the first step in building, or rebuilding a relationship with your mother, trust Him and move forward in faith. Surrender the pain, believing that the God who heals will restore what’s been broken. Take intentional time to study and meditate on God’s love, His forgiveness, and His healing power. As you do, begin to cast down every negative belief and lie that has taken root because of your mother wounds. You are not bound to repeat the patterns of the past. God has called you to be a different kind of mother. A mother shaped by His truth, not by past pain. The trauma you endured was not in vain; it has equipped you to parent with purpose, compassion, and wisdom. You have the opportunity, through Christ, to break generational cycles and raise your children—and future children—in a way that reflects His love.

The Bible tells us to raise our children in Christ—to teach them His ways, His truth, and His love—because their spiritual foundation shapes their entire lives (Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6:6–7). When we train them in the Lord, we’re not just parenting for today—we're planting seeds for eternity. Yet, in the midst of the demands of motherhood, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and begin to see our children as burdens rather than blessings. In those moments, we must renew our minds with truth. Psalm 127:3 reminds us that children are a reward from God. When weariness sets in, we can go to the Lord for strength (Isaiah 40:29) and ask Him to restore our perspective, helping us parent not from frustration, but from grace.

Expecting Mothers & Mothers To Be

Throughout Scripture, we see the powerful and often challenging journeys of mothers who faced impossible odds, deep longing, and great faith. Eve, the first mother, experienced both the joy of giving life and the pain of loss. Sarah waited decades for the promise of a child and laughed in disbelief before witnessing God’s faithfulness in Isaac’s birth. Rebekah, chosen by God for Isaac, became the mother of nations through Jacob and Esau. Jochebed, in courage and faith, hid her son Moses and surrendered him to God’s protection, ultimately raising a deliverer for Israel. Hannah, once barren and heartbroken, poured out her soul to the Lord—and in return, God gave her Samuel, whom she willingly dedicated back to His service. Elizabeth conceived John the Baptist in her old age, a miracle that prepared the way for Christ. And Mary, chosen to carry the Savior, embraced a calling filled with both divine honor and profound sacrifice.

Each of these women had a unique motherhood journey, yet many of them wrestled with doubt, waiting, and surrender. Some cried out for children. Others gave their children fully to the Lord’s purpose. Even God Himself, in the greatest act of love, gave His only Son, Jesus, for our salvation. To the mothers who are still waiting, still praying, and still believing—do not give up hope! God sees your heart, your tears, and your longing. Through faith, all things are possible (Luke 1:37). Your story is not over. Whether you’re waiting to conceive, or seeking healing from disappointment, know that God’s timing is perfect. And when He answers, be ready to dedicate your children back to Him—raising them in love, truth, and purpose, for His glory!!

Scriptures and References

• Psalm 51:17

• Ephesians 6:4

• Proverbs 13:24

• Proverbs 22:6

• Psalm 127:3

• Genesis 3:20

• Exodus 20:12

• Proverbs 1:8-9

• Proverbs 10:1

• Proverbs 23:22

• Isaiah 66:13

• Ephesians 6:2

• Colossians 3:20-21

• John 1:4

• Deuteronomy 6:6-7

• Isaiah 40:29

• Luke 1:37

• 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

• John 4:1-43

• 2 Corinthians 4:18

• Hebrews 6:19

• Jeremiah 29:11

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